The Kannadiga Identity

In conversation with my friend Joshua, and I start the conversation by fretting

My friend who’s from Karnataka said that I’m not from Karnataka because I’m Konkani and I felt bad

You felt bad because he implied you weren’t a Kannadiga, no?

Well, first of all that argument stems from the same fundamentals as racism, so you should treat it as such.

Secondly, if it hurt you because he kind of hurt your sense of belonging to Karnataka, keep in mind that his idea of Karnataka and ours is very different. And to be very honest, that Karnataka is not cool. It’s boring.

Coastal Karnataka is a different case altogether. Our diversity in religion and language, our education levels and other human development indices are simply not seen anywhere else in Karnataka. We’re different. We don’t have to be ashamed of that.

Honestly, we’re kind of like what India should really be. You realize that when you see how it is outside the urban areas elsewhere. It’s very segregated. We’re pretty miraculous as a region. Our favorite ice cream also is called Ideal.

Yes! Damn, my part of India is the cutest

Oh easily. Easily. 

That’s why I love my identity. There are very few places around the world that pull off what we do.


My $0.02 on Padmavati

This is going to get dated real quick, but just thought of putting it out there.

A lot of my countrymen are getting disproportionately wound up over protecting the history and honor of a fictitious queen Padmini with the days fast leading up to the release Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s Padmavati. While it certainly is ridiculous, I get them. For instance, if SLB were to choose to make a movie based on somebody that the people of my community revere, say a religious leader, I personally know people who would have their pants in a twist about that. Even if SLB did his research to the minutest detail and made sure everything was accurate to the t, there would be a LOT of uncomfortable people. So yeah, I get where they come from. It is okay and it is natural to feel uncomfortable when it looks like somebody wants to meddle with your heritage. It is okay to protest.

What is not okay, however, is to use this discomfort as justification for vandalism and death threats, and then provide flimsy excuses like “distortion of history”. The best way to protest, at least according to me, is to educate. You think something’s wrong? Write blog posts about why it’s wrong and how to correct it. Those people offering Rs 1 Cr for beheading Deepika Padukone(lolwut)? You can make your own movie with that money with what you think are the correct facts. Make videos, plaster it over your social media statuses, write listicles about what bothers you, etc. – there are just so many ways you can make yourself heard without having to be violent.

Honestly, I find there are many other things worth outraging about instead of this:

  1. It is pretty much accepted in history that Alauddin Khalji was an ambitious maniac of a ruler who wanted to expand the sultanate by invading the Hindu kingdoms as much as possible. Therefore I consider it a greater distortion of history to belittle his ambition by accepting that he invaded Chittor just because he was smitten by a woman.
  2. Should probably be 1a, but damn, have you read about Khalji’s life? Most particularly his wives? The movie should have been about Khalji. Or at least make another one and bring Ranveer Singh back!
  3. They couldn’t have chosen a more outrageous font for the movie. Papyrus is better than that shit.
  4. Some horrible casting decisions were made. Literally any random Rajput guy would look more royal than Shahid Kapoor in front of Deepika Padukone.
  5. I know that Jauhar was a valorous move by queen Padmini to preserve the honor of the Rajput women, but this movie comes with the risk of endorsing self-immolation as a virtuous thing that should be expected from a woman.
  6. Why not raise a stink of a similar magnitude over issues that actually matter? Instead of trying to grab your 15 minutes over a Bollywood movie (the fact that it’s a Bollywood movie should already give the idea that it must not be taken seriously) why not focus your energy into pressuring the government to make things better for the real, living women in your country?